Snapshots of Recovery
by Laatija
Summary: Because exhaustion has to catch up with you at some point... Little post-TLJ tag - H/C fluff, some spoilers for the The Last Jedi, no overt pairings.


A/N: Just a short blurb to get out some of my thoughts post-TLJ. Nothing major, just some HC fluff. Some spoilers for The Last Jedi.

Enjoy!

* * *

Snapshots of Recovery

* * *

He wasn't sure when he actually had slept last. Literally, he couldn't remember. It might have been after the jump to hyperspace, after they evacuated the base, but he honestly could not remember if he had actually slept at all. And then everything went to hell and he _definitely_ hadn't slept since then.

No wait, he'd been knocked unconscious. Did that count as sleep? He didn't think it did because he hadn't woken up from that feeling refreshed. He woke up from that with a pounding headache and an unshakable anxiety. No, Poe was _not_ counting that as sleep.

He wandered through the Falcon, checking on the others as he passed them by, making sure everyone was settled and cared for. It bothered him that they were too easily finding spaces to sit. There weren't enough of them to be squashed in the ship. And he knew it was partially his fault. Too much of it was his fault. Too many lives had been lost because he'd failed.

He'd been avoiding that trail of thought for a while but now that the Falcon was safely in hyperspace and speeding away from the danger, it gnawed at him.

"Commander," came the voice of an officer he barely recognized. "General Organa is waiting for you in the cockpit. She'd like to debrief, sir."

Poe stared at the young man who delivered the request. He blinked. "Uh yeah. Yeah, tell her I'll be right there. I just gotta…Um. I'll be right there."

The young officer nodded curtly and scurried off and Poe stared blankly at the space he'd just occupied. He rubbed at his forehead where a headache lurked. He didn't want to debrief. He didn't want to look Leia in the eye and give her a headcount that was too low to be useful and a report that outlined exactly how much they had lost. For all his talk of sparks, he found his confidence shaken to the core and Poe knew he couldn't anyone see it in his eyes. He couldn't let them know that he felt overwhelmed. He couldn't let them know that he had very little faith in himself anymore.

Maybe it was the exhaustion talking. Or the migraine. Or the ache that permeated all parts of his body. That must have been the explosion, he reasoned. But, then again, it could have been the stun blast.

He still hadn't taken a step towards the cockpit. He was rooted to the ground near the improvised medical nook and feeling a little claustrophobic. Poe wanted to just get away from everyone for a little while and…recalibrate. Recover. Find that spark again now that adrenaline had faded.

"Poe?"

It was Finn this time. Poe looked over at him and forced a smile onto his face that must have looked like a grimace judging by the way Finn was looking back at him.

"Hey. How's Rose?" he asked.

"Still out cold but she's stable," Finn reported. He had a dubious expression on his face. "You okay, man?"

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine," Poe insisted, holding his painful smile.

"You sure?" Finn pressed. He liked to challenge things, Poe noticed.

"Of course I'm sure." He scoffed indignantly at the question. "Why?"

"Your hands are shaking." Finn pointed.

Poe frowned at that and held his hands up. They were indeed trembling. He wasn't sure how he didn't notice it earlier. "…Uh…I'm fine. I'm not hurt or anything, I swear."

"Sure sure," Finn said placatingly. "Hey someone was handing out food bars earlier. Heads up."

A foil wrapped rectangle came flinging towards him and Poe didn't catch it so much as it hit him in the chest and he fumbled until it ended up in his hands, awkwardly. "Oh uh, thanks buddy." He fussed with the wrapper, really noticing the trembling now in his hands and having to concentrate to get the wrapper off. Once he did, and the smell of foodstuff hit him, he realized how hungry he was. It was like a floodgate had been opened.

Hunger clawed at him – the kind of hunger that was so thorough, it hurt. And with the hunger came the exhaustion and thirst and a shakiness that made him sway.

"Whoa, easy Poe!" Finn was suddenly standing next to him, steadying him, as Poe blinked languidly.

"…I guess I was hungrier than I thought," he said lamely. Finn didn't comment on that.

"Hey, sit down over here. Just relax, okay?" Finn was guiding him to a clear spot on the floor and Poe was only vaguely aware of the stares from the others in the room. He sat down heavily, his head thunking back against the wall. "Eat some of that bar. I'll be right back," Finn commanded.

Poe looked up at him and nodded as Finn hurried away, looking a little worried. He ate his food bar in silence as he waited, barely tasting it. He thought he felt marginally better as the food hit his stomach. But not good enough to stand back up.

Someone sat down next to him.

"Poe, are you alright?" came Rey's voice.

He was surprised she remembered his name and even more surprised that thought something was wrong. He was just sitting and eating. Surely that didn't come off as weak, did it?

"Why do people keep asking me that?" he groused. "I'm fine."

Rey gave him a calculating look. He thought she was going to ask him something painfully deep and profound but then she seemed to think better of it.

"You're just really pale," she commented.

"Oh, I'm just…tired, I guess. I'll be fine." He smiled at her but she didn't get up.

"I know what you mean. I'm exhausted. Do you mind if I sit here with you?"

He had the vague feeling that she was trying to babysit him but he shook his head anyway. She _did_ look pretty tired. "Nah, I don't mind."

"Great, thanks. I don't really know very many other people here. Besides Finn and Leia and Chewie," Rey said sheepishly.

Poe gave her an understanding nod. "Yeah no, that's fine." He opened his mouth to ask her what had happened and where she'd come from but she looked how he felt – like explanations could wait for a few hours. "You wanna bite?" He held up his food bar that was mostly gone.

Rey smiled at him and shook her head. "I've got one, thanks."

Poe nodded and they both slipped into a comfortable silence.

When Finn came back, he had a couple of bottles of water. He smiled broadly at Rey as he handed the water over to them both and settled down on the other side of Poe.

"Hey Finn," Rey said brightly.

"Hey. You two finally meet, huh?"

"Yeah, she's telling me all your most embarrassing stories," Poe said with a slight smirk.

Finn hesitated, casting a glance to Rey.

"I haven't," Rey said quickly, with a laugh. "I swear, I haven't said a thing."

Finn scowled at them both. "Yeah fine. Whatever. Drink some water, Poe."

Poe obliged, draining half of the bottle in one swig. He heaved a sigh then and rubbed at his forehead. Almost as if on cue, Finn handed up a couple of pills. Poe nodded his thanks and downed the pills with the last of the water.

With his hunger settled and his thirst slaked, Poe's eyelids started to droop. He heard Rey and Finn talking to each other but his brain had started to tune them out until it became a soft drone. He was only marginally aware of the things happening around him. He heard BB roll past and blurt out a question and some other people pass in the other direction. With a heavy sigh, he was relaxing sideways into Finn. The other man didn't push him away.

He wasn't sure when he actually fell asleep but he was pretty sure it happened shortly thereafter.

* * *

Leia walked through the ship, looking for Dameron so she could debrief and relax herself. She'd worked up to a healthy irritation by the time she found him. But when she saw him, her heart softened.

Rey was curled against Poe who was leaning against Finn who was the only one not asleep. The former stormtrooper looked up at her hesitantly, glancing from the slumbering Poe and Rey to Leia. He opened his mouth to say something and Leia held up her hand, shaking her head. She went to a pile of supplies in the corner and found a blanket. With no sense of decorum or circumstance, she shook the blanket out and quietly draped it over them.

Finn smiled gratefully at her and she smiled back, nodding, before she went to find her own moment of stillness in the chaos.


End file.
